Sorry?

Witty Banter

Today's topic is less of an answer than a question. Till now I had been thinking in answers but sometimes it's more fun to think in questions and trying to find answers within those questions. So, I'm not writing a single answer today, just questions (I think mid sems are making me go crazy), like a 5 year old questioning everything around him/her. Today, I question a word hidden in our conversations that we use so commonly and forget what it truly means at the end and that is "sorry". We use it so many times, for reasons we never pause to question, never asking if is it worth apologising for a reason that might never need to a reason to apologise for. So let's get down to questioning and sorry not sorry :).

Sorry for Pain

Why do sick people say "sorry" for coughing, as though lungs clearing themselves were a breach of etiquette? Why do we whisper apologies when our bodies ache, as though pain were impolite rather than the most honest proof of being alive? Why do we bow with "sorry" when illness interrupts, as though weakness were shameful instead of universal? If pain is inevitable, why do we feel guilty for showing it, as though suffering must be hidden for others to remain uncomfortable? Why do we treat recovery like an inconvenience, when every healed scar is evidence that life still fights for us? If an apology is meant to repair harm, how does saying "sorry" for illness make sense, who was harmed, and by what crime, other than existing?

Sorry for Needing

Why do we apologise for asking questions, as though curiosity itself were an intrusion? Why do we preface needs with "sorry to bother you" as though dependence were a failure instead of the essence of community? If every life is interwoven, why do we treat requests as burdens rather than invitations to connection? Why do we beg pardon for leaning on others, when leaning is the architecture of survival? Why do we shrink our voices to "sorry" instead of saying, "I need help, and that is part of being human?" If dependency humiliates us, what kind of strength are we worshipping, solitude or denial?

Sorry for Space

Why do we murmur "sorry" when we sit, when we stand, when we pass, as though occupying space is a theft? Why do we treat presence like trespass, as though breathing were permission we must negotiate? If the world has already bent to hold us since the moment we were born, why do we still act like intruders? Why do we apologise for walking slowly, for taking time, for existing at the pace of our own heartbeat? If space is guaranteed by being alive, why do we shrink into corners, folding ourselves smaller with every "sorry"? Is apology the quiet choreography of a world that teaches us to not disturb, even when we belong?

Sorry for Emotion

Why do we "sorry" for crying, as though tears were contamination instead of truth? Why do we apologise for anger, when anger is only love in its most wounded disguise? Why do we shrink joy with "sorry I got carried away," as though happiness were offensive when it flows? If laughter escapes freely and no one apologises, why must grief be restrained behind contrition? Why do we edit ourselves with "sorry" until what remains is polite but no longer real? If apologies are smoother than emotions, do we love the quiet of control more than the storm of honesty?

Sorry as Ritual

Why do we teach children to say "sorry" before they understand why, drilling the rhythm of contrition before empathy takes root? Why do we treat apology like currency, exchanging it endlessly while rarely investing in change? Why do cling to "sorry" ? It loops:

"sorry"

"it's fine"

"sorry",

like Collatz Conjecture of speech, repeating without ever evolving? If an apology is meant to  restore balance, why do we use it as a placeholder for the harder words: "I hurt you," "I forgive you," "I need you"? Why do we fear silence after mistakes so much that we fill it with "sorry," even if the silence might have birthed something truer? Is "sorry" a bridge between people, or it it sometimes a shield we hold to avoid vulnerability of real repair?

Sorry for Existing

Why do we apologise for silence, as though quiet were absence instead of presence? Why do we apologise for being tired, as though fatigue were a flaw and not a consequence of living? Why do we apologise for being late, as though time were a leash we owe rather than a river we swim? Why do we apologise for existing, as though existence itself required justification? If existence is the one thing we never had to earn, why do we still bow beneath it, contrite for simple being? Is the deepest human sickness not pain, but the belief that living is something to apologise for?

Beyond Sorry

If apologise can shrink us, can gratitude enlarge us? If instead of "sorry I'm late" we said "thank you for waiting," wouldn't we turn guilt into grace? If instead of  "sorry for asking" we said "thank you for listening," wouldn't we honour both need and gift? If instead of "sorry for crying" we said "thank you for holding me," wouldn't we make emotion a bond rather than a breach? If instead of apologising for being human we thanked one another for enduring humanity together, wouldn't life feel less like a  trespass and more like a homecoming? If the Collatz Conjecture loops endlessly 4 - 2 - 1 - 4 - 2 - 1 are apologies our human loop, cycling endlessly until we dare to rewrite them? And if one number might yet break free, could one person live without apology, not in cruelty, but in the boldness of unashamed being?